The New Taco Bell Cantina in LA Is Hosting DJ Parties

Welcome to Delicious or Distressing, where we rate recent food memes, videos, and other decidedly unserious news. Last week we discussed Subway (the sandwich chain) potentially optioning buyers. 

In the parallel version of my life where I grew up in Los Angeles, I’m genuinely disappointed that the bar mitzvah season of my age didn’t coincide with the opening of the newest Taco Bell Cantina in our country. It nearly begs to be overrun by wild 13-year-olds wearing glowstick crowns and pumped up on Baja Blasts because it is equipped with a DJ booth and movie screens (spiked ones reserved for the adults). In any case, I’m interested to see who DJ will officially inaugurate the venue. Shaq? It’s The Chainsmokers. The College Friend of Yours?

While this is going on, Starbucks is yassifying its own brand of beverages by adding smooth glugs of olive oil instead of alcohol. Food & Wine claims that the coffee-olive oil combination is fairly tasty, and the author mentioned that after drinking it, her lips felt moisturized, which was an unexpected but delightful side effect. Think of me as fascinated. Less intriguing are the cigarette-style warning signs applied to meat packages to discourage consumption and the new Jeni’s x Ted Lasso ice cream collaboration, which sounds good in principle but is quite disappointing in practice (I tasted it).

So a Taco Bell Cantina in Los Angeles is planning to host DJ parties now. Makes sense. This unsurprising yet bold move is in part to help the brand enter LA’s nightlife scene and appeal to its young “cool kid” crowd. The cantina plans to add a movie screen and speakers in order to host a multitude of parties, and will remove its traditional menu boards and install digital ordering kiosks instead—I imagine it’s hoping to have more interaction on the dance floor. Dancing to some house music with a spiked Baja Blast in one hand and a Crunchwrap in the other doesn’t sound outlandish to me. Taco Bell is a classic fast-food option for late-night cravings anyway, so while you’re getting lit on the dance floor, you might as well grab a snack while you’re there. It’s a two in one. If this Cantina opened in NYC, there’s a 100% chance I’d book a DJ party. I’m always trying to live más. 4.2/5 delicious. —Julia Duarte, art assistant

Something’s…happening at Starbucks. The company is going through some kind of midlife crisis—at the very least we’re seeing her go through a very public menty b. First there was the NFT projects (classic cry for help), then there’s the ongoing push against unionization efforts (self-sabotaging), and now it’s introducing an olive oil-infused coffee (desperate plea for attention). Starbucks, beloved, what’s going on? What do you need right now? I know there’s been some recent trouble with TikTok drink hacks, but is there a loved one we can call to give you some support right now? I guess what I’m saying is who asked for this, and are they in the room with us now? Who knows, maybe I’m being a pessimist, but I’m having a hard time imagining enjoying an oily tasting coffee. I’m giving this one a slicked, slidey 3.7/5 distressing. — Sam Stone, staff writer

When he’s not tossing his body under Olivia Wilde’s car, Jason Sudeikis—the versatile man he is—also portrays American soccer coach slash British transplant Ted Lasso. In the show, Lasso wins the affection of a steely coworker with a daily delivery of homemade shortbread biscuits (and a side of Midwestern charm), wearing down her tough exterior with buttery pastry. Naturally, Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams turned the show’s sweet motif into a real life ice cream flavor, because what’s not to like about shortbread-flavored ice cream? Apparently a lot, because I did not like it. The ice cream developers went heavy on shortbread’s most prominent ingredient: butter. I appreciated the balance of salty and sweet, and the embedded chunks of shortbread itself, but I was so overtaken by the taste of pure butter that I couldn’t focus on anything but. Truly, I felt as if I was biting into a cold stick of it. I respect the concept, and I couldn’t help but be charmed by the jacket-themed pint packaging. But it wasn’t for me. 1.3/5 distressing. —Li Goldstein, digital production assistant


Leave a Comment